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 Neru [Technique Registeration]

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Neru
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Male Character Age : 22
Posts : 344
Ryo : 12000

PostSubject: Neru [Technique Registeration]   Sun Apr 07, 2013 10:34 am

My 3 free Jutsus


Art of Illusion: Clone



Rank of Jutsu: D

Element Affinity: N/A

Type: Genjutsu

Distance: 0-15m

Description:
The user appears to split into several clones which looks like he performed Kage Bushin no jutsu, but it's actually a genjutsu. The clones circle around the user until it's a complete circle. The clones cannot harm the opponent. It isn't necessary to form a circle, this jutsu is used as a distraction, in order to conceal the user.
The clones disappear if the opponent attackes/touches them
Lasts for 2 posts or until the clones are destroyed. Cooldown 2 posts. Requires Handseals




Illuminating Eye



Rank of Jutsu: C

Element Affinity: Light

Type: Ninjutsu

Distance: 0-30m

Description:
The user is able to see in the dark, like that of nocturnal vision but can only see in black and white, in foggy conditions, the distance in which he can see is reduced by half (15m). Lasts for 3 posts. Cooldown 3 posts. Requires charging which is the equal of handseals



Lightning Style: Rain of the Thunder God



Rank of Jutsu: B

Element Affinity: Lightning

Type: Ninjutsu

Distance: 0-20m [65ft]

Description: The user forms tiny needles made from lightning and sends it towards the opponent, the user fires 20 needles. The needles are 2 inches long. Once they hit they cause a shocking effect which numbs the persons body, decreasing their speed by 20%. The shock also causes the opponent's hands to open involuntairly, making any weapon their holding drop. The base speed of the needles is 40mph. Cooldown 4 posts. Requires handseals.


Last edited by Neru on Tue Apr 09, 2013 9:21 am; edited 10 times in total
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Neru
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Male Character Age : 22
Posts : 344
Ryo : 12000

PostSubject: Re: Neru [Technique Registeration]   Tue Apr 09, 2013 5:09 am

Bump.

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Ventus
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PostSubject: Re: Neru [Technique Registeration]   Tue Apr 09, 2013 6:32 am

  • D rank, this goes for every technique as well. Do you use hand seals to prepare for this?

  • C rank, what exactly is 60-80% better vision? We dont really have a base for vision as far as number go so maybe you should change it to be able to just see in the dark to a limited distance that it lower in foggy areas.

  • B rank, you say you increase their speed by 5 but what is their base speed?
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Neru
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Ryo : 12000

PostSubject: Re: Neru [Technique Registeration]   Tue Apr 09, 2013 6:40 am

Ventus wrote:
  • D rank, this goes for every technique as well. Do you use hand seals to prepare for this?

  • C rank, what exactly is 60-80% better vision? We dont really have a base for vision as far as number go so maybe you should change it to be able to just see in the dark to a limited distance that it lower in foggy areas.

  • B rank, you say you increase their speed by 5 but what is their base speed?


D-rank: Nope, but if I do need handseals for the D-rank, I'll add em if they are required. The C-rank jutsu requires charging which is of 1 post (same as a handseal) and the B-rank it requires one post to make upto 20 of them (same as a handseal)

C-rank: Ok, how about in the dark, it's similar to nocturnal vision but you can only see in black and white, uptil 30m. In foggy conditions the distance is lowered till 15m?

B-rank: Hmm..that's a good question, I'd say 10-15mph?
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Ventus
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PostSubject: Re: Neru [Technique Registeration]   Tue Apr 09, 2013 6:44 am

  • D rank, Alright add in hand seals and that one is fine.

  • C rank, thats fine, just make sure to add in that it requires a charge time equal to hand seals.

  • B rank, If that is the speed you want add that in, just like with the C rank be sure to add in that it requires a charge time equal to hand seals (Im assuming this one was a charge time as well, your wording is slightly confusing)

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Neru
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PostSubject: Re: Neru [Technique Registeration]   Tue Apr 09, 2013 6:51 am

Edited, how about now?

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Ventus
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PostSubject: Re: Neru [Technique Registeration]   Tue Apr 09, 2013 7:04 am

for the C rank, a charge equal to hand seals isnt always one post, currently as a genin it takes you two rounds to perform C rank techniques. The B rank would take a genin 3 round to perform as well
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Neru
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PostSubject: Re: Neru [Technique Registeration]   Tue Apr 09, 2013 7:19 am

Ventus wrote:
for the C rank, a charge equal to hand seals isnt always one post, currently as a genin it takes you two rounds to perform C rank techniques. The B rank would take a genin 3 round to perform as well

Alright I'll add that in. Also, imagine I was Chuunin, would it then take me 2 posts to perform the B-rank jutsu? [Like if the jutsu uses handseals/charging]
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Takeru
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PostSubject: Re: Neru [Technique Registeration]   Tue Apr 09, 2013 8:07 am

Just jumping in here there's the full rules for this written up in the comprehensive battle rules.

http://www.narutoprovince.com/t646-comprehensive-battle-rules

All the rules for handseal/charge times are in here

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Neru
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PostSubject: Re: Neru [Technique Registeration]   Tue Apr 09, 2013 8:16 am

Takeru wrote:
Just jumping in here there's the full rules for this written up in the comprehensive battle rules.

http://www.narutoprovince.com/t646-comprehensive-battle-rules

All the rules for handseal/charge times are in here

Thanks for the link, it clears up the things I had to ask. Still, I added the time it would take for a genin to perform the C and B-rank jutsus
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Takeru
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PostSubject: Re: Neru [Technique Registeration]   Tue Apr 09, 2013 8:22 am

what i was saying is you dont HAVE to include that at all, its the same for everyone and is in the rules for ease of access.

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PostSubject: Re: Neru [Technique Registeration]   Tue Apr 09, 2013 8:23 am

Takeru wrote:
what i was saying is you dont HAVE to include that at all, its the same for everyone and is in the rules for ease of access.

Ah alright, i'll edit it out then

Also took out the confusing bit and added Requires Handseals instead.
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PostSubject: Re: Neru [Technique Registeration]   Tue Apr 09, 2013 8:32 am

Rank of Jutsu: B

Element Affinity: Wind, Lightning

Type: Ninjutsu

Distance: 0-20m

Description: The user forms tiny needles made from lightning and sends it towards the opponent, the user can fire about 20 for a post. He then can increase the speed of the needles by 5mph. The needles are 2 inches long. Once they hit they cause a shocking effect, enough to make the user cringe, depending on where it hit. For example, if it hit his arm, it would be enough to make the opponent drop his weapon. If the user is specialised in Ijutsu, he has a chance of numbing a body part, depending on his distance.
The base speed of the needles is 15mph
This jutsu can be used to fool the enemy of the speed at which the needles are coming, the user after he adds wind chakra to the needles can increase the speed from afar but only at the range of
D-rank=5m
C-rank =10m
B-rank =15m
Cooldown 4 posts. Requires handseals.


Alright lets go over this. For starters the list of ranks isnt needed, you can just go ahead and place 20m in the distance, though converting it to ft would be preferable. "He then can increase the speed of the needles by 5mph." this isnt needed either.

Next up is that this jutsu isn't really B rank in power. You can make it so that the needles nmb the persons body if they strike thereby slowing them by 20% and forcing them to drop all held items. As such you can also increase the speed to say 40mph

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PostSubject: Re: Neru [Technique Registeration]   Tue Apr 09, 2013 8:50 am

Takeru wrote:
Rank of Jutsu: B

Element Affinity: Wind, Lightning

Type: Ninjutsu

Distance: 0-20m

Description: The user forms tiny needles made from lightning and sends it towards the opponent, the user can fire about 20 for a post. He then can increase the speed of the needles by 5mph. The needles are 2 inches long. Once they hit they cause a shocking effect, enough to make the user cringe, depending on where it hit. For example, if it hit his arm, it would be enough to make the opponent drop his weapon. If the user is specialised in Ijutsu, he has a chance of numbing a body part, depending on his distance.
The base speed of the needles is 15mph
This jutsu can be used to fool the enemy of the speed at which the needles are coming, the user after he adds wind chakra to the needles can increase the speed from afar but only at the range of
D-rank=5m
C-rank =10m
B-rank =15m
Cooldown 4 posts. Requires handseals.


Alright lets go over this. For starters the list of ranks isnt needed, you can just go ahead and place 20m in the distance, though converting it to ft would be preferable. "He then can increase the speed of the needles by 5mph." this isnt needed either.

Next up is that this jutsu isn't really B rank in power. You can make it so that the needles nmb the persons body if they strike thereby slowing them by 20% and forcing them to drop all held items. As such you can also increase the speed to say 40mph


Ok, I'll remove the ranks, also about the "He can increase the speed of the needles by 5mph" that's an error. I wanted to say "by adding wind chakra, the user can increase the speed of the needles by 5mph" Is that ok?

Alright, thanks for the suggestion, I'll edit them in now




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PostSubject: Re: Neru [Technique Registeration]   Tue Apr 09, 2013 9:04 am

you can add that they involuntarily open their hands and drop weapons to the B rank if you want, other than that make it all into one paragraph instead of the extra lines

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Neru
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PostSubject: Re: Neru [Technique Registeration]   Tue Apr 09, 2013 9:10 am

Added, how about now?

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Takeru
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PostSubject: Re: Neru [Technique Registeration]   Tue Apr 09, 2013 9:22 am

Looks acceptable to me, good job .

Approved.

These are the 3 free jutsu so take them :)

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PostSubject: Re: Neru [Technique Registeration]   Thu Apr 11, 2013 11:54 am



Light style: Janpu-Tobu
Rank of Jutsu: E
Element Affinity: Light
Type: Kekkai Genkkai / Ninjutsu
Distance: N/A
Description: The user concentrates Light chakra on his feet. He then uses the gathered Light chakra to boost 5m in any direction, for example, he may use the Light chakra under his feet to jump back, forward or sideways. The speed at which he accelerates from the ground is boosted by 10mph, differing for each rank. If boosting upwards, towards the air, the user can use the Light chakra to glide down with ease. The speed at which the user can glide down is 2mph, Requires charging. Cooldown 3 posts





Light style: Low level
sheild
Rank of Jutsu: C
Element Affinity: Light
Type: Kekkai Genkkai / Ninjutsu
Distance: N/A
Description: The user forms Light chakra around their arms. The user then manipulates the Light chakra to form a rectangular/arrow sheild around their arm. The sheild can withstand the durability of steel but only for 5 hits. After that the sheild is destroyed. It can withstand iron and below without a problem. Lasts for 4 posts (unless it is destroyed by a weapon with the durability of steel or higher). Cooldown 5 posts. Requires charging.
See the spoiler as to how the arrow sheild looks like
Spoiler:
 



Last edited by Neru on Sun Apr 28, 2013 7:57 pm; edited 3 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: Neru [Technique Registeration]   Thu Apr 11, 2013 12:42 pm

Remove the red font, the coding is set up a way for a reason.

For the first jutsu you can go ahead and make that E rank.

The second, what do you mean by 4 sided shield?

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PostSubject: Re: Neru [Technique Registeration]   Thu Apr 11, 2013 12:52 pm

Takeru wrote:
Remove the red font, the coding is set up a way for a reason.

For the first jutsu you can go ahead and make that E rank.

The second, what do you mean by 4 sided shield?
I didn't mean to have it, the text for some reason was invisble o_o
Alright
And 4 sided sheild as in a 4 sided-polygon, like the sheild is made on his arm. It covers the upper arm with a few inches more poking out.
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PostSubject: Re: Neru [Technique Registeration]   Thu Apr 11, 2013 12:57 pm

so its like a box on your arm? a big rectangular box?

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PostSubject: Re: Neru [Technique Registeration]   Thu Apr 11, 2013 1:04 pm

You could say it's something like that. But a 4 sided polygon can be also like these shapes:


If you wanted to describe a certain polygon, you would say like "Neru formed the Light chakra into a arrow shaped polygon". Or a rectangular shaped polygon and so on. It has to be a polygon
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PostSubject: Re: Neru [Technique Registeration]   Thu Apr 11, 2013 1:08 pm

Ah so it's not a 3d shape, i gotcha now. Why don't you edit it and just say it makes a rectangular shield, the 4 sided makes it sound like a cube or something.

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PostSubject: Re: Neru [Technique Registeration]   Thu Apr 11, 2013 1:11 pm

Edited, added the pic on the jutsu to show how it looks when its made into an arrow like shape

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PostSubject: Re: Neru [Technique Registeration]   Thu Apr 11, 2013 1:16 pm

Looks fine to me.

Approved.


1000 ryo for the E rank

3000 ryo for the C rank

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